Coming 127.0.0.1

Ok, first off, I’m not good at blogging. I’ve tried to keep several journals and they always turn into just documenting what I’ve been doing. I’ll admit I’m not very good at writing down my feelings. I think the last time I tried doing that was when I was in grade school, but my mom ended up reading through it. I’ll open up to my friends when I have stuff that I need advice on, but for the most part, that’s it. This book is closed kids, and if the key you have doesn’t fit, then you’re better off not even trying.

I don’t trust people easily, which probably had a lot to do with it. But, we’ll see if we can’t work on that. I’m starting out in a new city. A lot has changed over the past year… Broke up with Lucas, whom I loved very dearly. But I never got a strong impression those feelings were really returned. At least not at the same pace. He was a very closed person. And that’s what eventually lead to the break up. We rarely talked about anything that had to do with how we were feeling, and what was going wrong. When he left for San Francisco at the end of August, it reminded me that not matter how to try to avoid it, things change. People change. And we had changed a great deal over the 2 years we spent together.

A few months after he moved, so did I. Not to follow him, but because this was something I needed to do for myself. I had been trying to get to San Francisco on my own since I was 17. And finally I had gotten myself to a point where it was either move out of Arizona, or stay and die there. Don’t get me wrong, there are things about Phoenix I do miss, but with all the changes I’d been through, what better way to start out this new direction than in a City I’ve always wanted to call Home.

Tomorrow I move into my own place. This is the first apartment I’ve had to myself since I was 19. Words cannot express how grateful I am that I can actually afford a 1 bedroom apartment in the heart of San Francisco only 4 short blocks from work.

Definitely off to a good start.